July 18, 2011  |   
                                                                    
                                                                                                                            The Republican Party’s slapstick search for a leader  would be  heartwarming and sidesplitting, but for the tragic knowledge  that one of  these scrambling midgets will collect tens of millions of  votes in the  presidential election of 2012. Never have so many amounted  to so little,  talked so much rubbish, dreamed of an office so far  above their  abilities.   Blood pressures rose among party elders when  Donald Trump,  marginally  Republican and one of the greatest fools in  the solar  system, momentarily tossed his hairpiece into the ring and  became the  instant favorite.
  The GOP dilemma — a golden opportunity to rule but nothing to say and   no one to say it — is so desperate that my instinct is to help them  sort  it out. Could we make a start, at least, by dismissing candidates  who  called for President Obama’s birth certificate or raised the  specter of  Sharia law in America, followed briskly off the stage by  lunatics who  dismiss global warming as a socialist plot?
 That would leave plenty of unbalanced extremists still in the  running,  yet reduce the stench of sheer evil and madness. The “birther”  and  Sharia cults reek of cheesy talk-radio racism; climate-change  denial is a  stranger faith yet, a political assault on basic science  that insults a  ground squirrel’s intelligence and casually threatens  the survival of  life on earth.
 The party that produces birthers and global-warming deniers no doubt   harbors End-of-the-Worlders, too, Christians who packed their bags for   heaven with the senile prophet Harold Camping on May 21.  Though none  of  them, I suppose, would commit to the time and expense of a  presidential  campaign just to preside over a nation of sinners expiring  in fire and  pestilence. Leo Rangell, the prominent Freudian analyst  whose obituary  is in this morning’s Times, once lamented that the  American public is  “gullible or easily seduced, and susceptible to  leaders of questionable  character.”
 Dr. Rangell wrote that in 1980, long before gullibility became such  an  epidemic that we began to doubt the value of our schools, before  media  demagogues made a billion-dollar industry of manipulating our  most  credulous citizens, before the Republican Party dedicated itself  to  gathering most of them into its fold. Before Rush Limbaugh, before  Fox  News, before the Tea Party.
 “Finally, people’s stupidity will break your heart,” observed my   father, a small-town politician and a loyal Republican of the moderate   traditional strain that has been systematically exterminated by the   radical Right.
 My father lived long enough to vote for George McGovern and against   Ronald Reagan, but the rhetoric GOP candidates churn out to charm this   Tea Party would sound extraterrestrial to most Republicans of his   generation.
 The odious hypocrite Newt Gingrich, who considered himself a serious   presidential candidate until his entire staff abandoned him in disgust,   rests his appeal on his intellectual superiority to Sarah Palin and  Rick  Perry — a distinction much like being a faster runner than Dom  DeLuise.  In his obligatory pre-campaign book Gingrich claims that  Barack Obama, a  cautious centrist if there ever was one, drives a  “secular-socialist  machine” that “represents as great a threat to  America as Nazi Germany  or the Soviet Union once did.”
 Michael Savage, Rush Limbaugh, Father Coughlin, move over. Newt is  just  full of Shariah, among other things, and accuses Obama of “Kenyan,   anti-colonial behavior,” a blatant pitch for the racist vote the Tea   Party has re-energized. A colossal irony — demonstrating how hopelessly   divided America has become — is that the radical philosopher Cornel   West, a black Princeton professor, calls Obama “a black mascot of Wall   Street oligarchs and a black puppet of corporate plutocrats.” This is   not helpful of Dr. West, nor even responsible. He and Newt Gingrich are   equally useless if a calmer, more logical and coherent political  culture  is what we’re after. But if I had to say which of these two  hostile  portraits of our president is less preposterous, I’m sure I’d  choose  West’s. Virtually all the valid criticism of Barack Obama has  come from  the left.
 When Tea-stained legislators gut environmental laws to protect   corporate profits, when they sneer at climate change while America bakes   in its bedrock like a big green casserole — when Republican  educational  reform means classrooms with fewer teachers and more guns —  there’s a  temptation for reasonable Americans to throw up their hands  and succumb  to despair. Is it a death wish or a scheme to kill the rest  of us, when  “conservatives” fight against clean air laws, or legislate  to place a  loaded pistol in every yahoo’s holster?   I’ve reached the  second half  of my seventh decade, and I’ve never seen such an  intimidating swarm of  fanatics and fools marching under one banner. The  election of a  non-white president has brought out the worst in the  worst of us. But  who guessed that there were so many, or that their  worst was so awful?
 The late Albert Einstein, of my father’s persuasion if not of his   party, once wrote despairingly, “The tyranny of the ignoramuses is   insurmountable and assured for all time.” But the coalition that poisons   this struggling republic is an unnatural one, made up of rich cynics   who supply the money and poor ignoramuses who supply the votes. They   have nothing in common, except that the cynics will say anything and the   morons will believe it. There must be something, optimists insist,  that  could drive a wedge between the exploiters and the exploited —  some  irresistible revelation, some fraud or contradiction so flagrant  that  the most obtuse voter could see how callously and criminally he’s  being  used.
 How about Ayn Rand? The latest Republican poster boy, congressman  Paul  Ryan of Wisconsin, stole the media spotlight with a  slash-to-the-bone  budget proposal that Fox News heralded as the Magna  Carta of fiscal  responsibility in America. I lack the expertise to take  on Rep. Ryan’s  budget digit-for-digit, but I place considerable  confidence in the  opinion of the Times’ Paul Krugman, who won a Nobel  Prize for Economics  in 2008.   “The proposal wasn’t serious at all,”  Krugman wrote. “In  fact, it was a sick joke. The only real things in it  were savage cuts in  aid to the needy and the uninsured, huge tax cuts  for corporations and  the rich, and Medicare privatization. All the  alleged cost savings were  pure fantasy.”
 That sounds about par for the current Republican course, with fresh   infusions of Tea Party belligerence and unreality. But what frightened   me most about Rep. Ryan was the report that he is an avowed disciple of   the writer/philosopher Ayn Rand, and has declared in public that Rand  is  “the reason I got involved in public service.” Good grief, she’s  back.  She died in 1982, but someone neglected to drive a stake through  her  heart.
 A passion for the prose and philosophy of Ayn Rand tells us a great   deal about an individual, none of it good. There are few surer signs of a   poor reader, a poor thinker and an unpleasant person than a   well-thumbed copy of Atlas Shrugged or The Fountainhead.
 In 2005, Rand’s acolytes gathered in Washington for a symposium to   celebrate her 100th birthday — the occasion for Rep. Ryan’s disturbing   confession — and I admit I’d give anything to see the seating chart. If   there was some way to ban everyone in that room from holding public   office, we could probably turn the United States of America back toward   the generous light of reason.
 She was to literature what Rod McKuen was to poetry, what Fabian was  to  rock n’ roll, what Guru Maharaj Ji was to religion. Look them up.  Like  them, she once enjoyed a huge audience of admirers. Unlike them,  she was  never harmless and she’s enjoying an alarming revival.
 Since Atlas Shrugged was published in 1957, it has sold seven million   copies. It’s possibly the most polarizing book ever written. For every   Paul Ryan who finds it life-shaping, a dozen readers are mystified and  a  dozen more appalled. Few actually finish the 1,200-page novel, which   ends with the mysterious Galt drawing a dollar sign in the air with  his  finger. If you wade into this stuff up to your ankles — the hokey   melodrama, the backlit macro-characters posed like Easter Island   monoliths, the cruel and obvious message stamped on every page—-you   begin to fear that you can never wash it off.
 At times her critics oversimplify Rand’s beliefs, which embody any   number of contradictions and opacities. But essentially she glorifies   the will and celebrates Nietzsche’s Ubermensch, the superman whose   blazing passage through the world need never be impeded by the interests   or opinions of mediocrities like you and me.  It’s the same string of   arrogant assumptions that spawned the Master Race theories of Herr   Hitler: ego-deification, social Darwinism, arbitrary stratification of   human types. Adapted for capitalism, it becomes the divine right to   plunder — a license for those who own nearly everything to take the   rest, because they wish to, because they can. Because the weak don’t   matter. Let the big dogs feed. This repulsive theology was the work of a   fairly repulsive person.
 For an eyewitness portrait of Ayn Rand in the flesh, in the prime of   her celebrity, you can’t improve on the “Ubermensch” chapter in Tobias   Wolff’s autobiographical novel Old School.
 Invited to meet with the faculty and student writers at the  narrator’s  boarding school, Rand arrives with an entourage of  chain-smoking  idolaters in black and behaves so repellently that her  audience of  innocents gets a life lesson in what kind of adult to  avoid, and to  avoid becoming. Rude, dismissive, vain and  self-infatuated to the point  of obtuseness — she names Atlas Shrugged  as the only great American  novel — Rand and her hissing chorus in black  manage to alienate the  entire school, even the rich board member who  had admired and invited  her.
 What strikes Wolff’s narrator most forcefully is her utter lack of   charity or empathy, her transparent disgust with everything she views as   disfiguring or disabling: a huge wen on the headmaster’s forehead, the   narrator’s running head cold, the war injury that emasculated   Hemingway’s Jake Barnes in The Sun Also Rises.
 To the boy, she appears to be exactly the sort of merciless egotist  who  might have designed a fascist philosophy that exalts power and   disparages altruism. Rand is wearing a gold pin in the shape of a dollar   sign. After meeting her, he can no longer read a word of The   Fountainhead, which as an adolescent romantic he had enjoyed.
 This division of the human race into the elect few who are destiny’s   darlings and the “second-rate” multitudes above whom they soar—-this   Ubermensch nonsense—-is perilously thin ice on which to rest a   philosophy (Nietzsche, you recall, went hopelessly mad.)
 Since there’s no agency that rates human beings the way we rate  bonds,  the elect are always self-elected supermen and superwomen.  Super, says  who?
 If it’s supposed to be intellect as much as will that sets them above   us, I sense a critical problem. Whenever a person of superior   intelligence begins to comprehend the human condition, the first fruits   of his knowledge are humility and irony—-those two things Rand and her   heroes most spectacularly lack.
 Personally, I never feel more superior than when I see someone  carrying  a copy of Atlas Shrugged. What actually sets the self-styled  super race  apart is an unrepressed infantile id, a raging “I want” that  defies  socialization. These are damaged children, people of arrested   development drawn to an ugly philosophy that legitimizes narcissism and   socially unacceptable behavior. Donald Trump would be a perfect  example.  For an apostle of self-willed happiness, the goddess of greed  led a  troubled life, marked by depressions, amphetamine addiction,  messy love  affairs and betrayals. But you could say that she had a  capacious mind,  if not a healthy or an orderly one.
 She was well educated, she had actually read Aristotle and Nietzsche   before she hobbled them and hitched them to her wagon. Her unlikely   21st-century resurrection is the work of much smaller, often almost   invisible minds that cherry-pick the vast creaking structure of her   oeuvre for their own ends, just as they cherry-pick the Bible or The   Wealth of Nations.
 If corporate feudalism is your dream for America, she’s the prophet  for  you. Her naïve faith in capitalism and contempt for “the welfare  state”  are just what the right-wing doctor ordered.
 Much of the rest, alas, will never fly in Alabama. Pundits have been   delighted to note that the heroine of the new Republicans was a  pacifist  who opposed the Vietnam War, a feminist who supported  abortion, an  adulteress who preached free love, a bohemian who mocked  family life and  child-bearing, an elitist who sneered at the common  man, and, after all  her “nanny state” rhetoric, a recipient of Social  Security and Medicare  and a late, sick convert to the benefits of  socialized medicine.
 Worst of all, for tea-stained Christian Republicans, she was a  militant  atheist. In Rand’s ideology religious faith was the most  abject form of  weakness, a sniveling retreat from the hardheaded,  self-centered  “objectivism” her heroes impose on the world. She not  only would have  rejected Jesus and his gospels, she actually  did—-repeatedly. Christ’s  message that the poor are blessed and the  meek will inherit the earth is  antithetical to Rand’s belief that the  poor and meek are no more than  mulch where the dreams of the mighty  take root.
 So adamantly did she denounce the altruism and self-sacrifice at the   center of the Christian message, it’s no exaggeration to call her the   intellectual Antichrist.
 It’s no great exaggeration to say that praising her is like spitting in Christ’s face.
 How do Paul Ryan, Ron and Rand Paul and company manage to pass off  this  radical atheist, this subversive Russian Jew (born Elisa  Rosenbaum) as  an iconic role model for Christian conservatives?
 Apparently they don’t think they need to get into the details, not  with  their particular constituency. Assuming that they know the details   themselves. The careless condescension of their leaders is not yet a   scandal to the tea-baggers of America’s unlettered hard Right. But Ayn   Rand seems like the biggest joke of all, one that might yet blow up in   the party’s face.
 The plutocrats she worshiped are so few, the plebeians she scorned  are  so many. The GOP’s little people can’t all be totally illiterate,  and  Limbaugh and Glenn Beck actually urge them to read this woman’s  books.  It’s in-your-face deception that reminds me of the old stage  villain,  the silent-movie heavy with the waxed mustache, cackling  behind his  cloak and inviting the audience to share the cruelty he’s  about to  inflict on his innocent victims. It’s as if Wall Street is   surreptitiously giving the finger to Main Street Republicans, laughing   at the gullible recruits as they march to the polls to lower corporate   taxes and deregulate markets. Ayn Rand, indeed. She would have applauded   the big dogs’ ruthlessness but rolled her eyes at the Christian-family   rhetoric they’re obliged to use for bait.
 She wasn’t one of them, of course; she certainly wasn’t one of us.  She  was one of a kind, thank god. In her defense, you might argue that  her  love affair with capitalism was rooted in a Russian Jew’s horror of  the  totalitarian systems that devastated Europe in the 20th century.
 That offers her a gravitas she doesn’t share with ultra-light   Midwestern reactionaries like Paul Ryan or Michele Bachmann. But the   more Americans read her books, the better for liberals and the worse, I   think, for Republicans.
 Her work illustrates conclusively what a few brave clergymen and a  few  ink-stained relics like me have been saying for years to anyone who   would listen, and to Republicans who refuse to listen — that   Christianity and the wolverine capitalism of a John Galt are totally   incompatible systems, two mutually exclusive human possibilities. They   cancel each other out. Any political party that pretends to integrate   them is a party of liars, and doomed.  
Hal Crowther’s most recent book is Gather at the River. Write him at 219 N. Churton St., Hillsborough, NC 27278.